Who I am - Part One

This story?

I was born in Shelby, NC to a man named Earl and a woman named Patricia. I was their second child. I have a brother named Earl as well. I lived in Carolina until I was 2 years old and then relocated to my mother's home state of Florida.

As I got older I noticed things about our life and family. My father was an abusive alcoholic and my mother and brother was his whipping posts. Growing up I seen alot of fights, knives being pulled, faces being smashed, police being called.

My father was a little bit on the wild side. He too had a rough up bringing. He and his brothers were given away to an orphanage as pre-teens. That is where he learned to smoke and drink. Fighting was away to pass the time and your only means of survival.

Now that I'm older I can understand his hard life, but he didn't try to make it any better for us either.

Now in the midst of all of the fussing and fighting I was really the only one that he never messed with. Later he told me, when I was around 21, that the reason he never layed a hand on me is because he knew that I was his son. For the longest time he believed my brother to be someone elses son.

We lived as a poor family in the 80's. Sometimes my mother would cry because she couldn't pay the bills and my dad would lay out of work because he was drunk. He lost more jobs than he kept. He was an electrician by trade. He had jobs where he was making over $20.00 per hour, but he loved the bottle more.

My parents divorced which in some cases just made matters worse. Sometimes he would come and try to pick us up while drunk and they would fight again.

My mother, bless her forgiving and gullable heart, would take him back because she wanted us to have a father figure. And she was not having any other man around us other than dad.

So, as kids do, I got older. I seen numerous fist fights between my brother and my dad. Once my dad tried to stab Earl when I was 11 years old. Luckily my mother worked not to far from the house so I was able to get help. Not to long after that incident, when I was 13, my brother had a "make-shift" weapon that had nail like spikes. He drove it into my dad's arm because he pulled a knife again.

This is the kind of life I grew up around. Even though hardly any of it was directed at me, I still felt the anger and the hurt. It was always there.

When I was a child they always told me not to waste my food. "Eat what is on your plate". "There is plenty left why don't you get some more". Being a kid I did as I was told. I found comfort in food and the closed doors of my room. I could block everything out when I was in there. The greatest thing about it was, in my room is where I blossomed.

When I was twelve mom and dad bought me my first electric guitar for my birthday. It was candy apple red and came with a power amp. It was beautiful. My Aunt Lavada, whose husband at the time played guitar, bought me a Rickey Van Shelton music book. That same night I played my first song. Well as best as I could at least.

From there I kept playing music. When ever they were fighting, I was playing music. Whenever there was nothing to do, I was playing music. I remember one time mom and dad bought me a Nintendo (The first ever Nintendo). I played it for 3 days and told them to take it back because it was interfering with my music. Not only did I learn to play rhythm guitar, I also taught myself to write lyrics. Before they new it I was off and running with a book full of Country songs and a dream to make it in the music business.

I didn't realize at that time that I was overweight. At the age of 12, in 7th grade, I was 212 LBS and 5'6". I was almost as heavy as my dad and I was heavier than my adult brother. I found comfort in my room.

In between 8th and 9th grade is when I lost my weight the first time. We moved into a neighborhood where all the kids played basketball at a local court that was right down the street. We played full court games for hours. In the summertime we would meet down there and play until lunch time, leave to eat, and then come back and play until dark. We did this the entire summer.

When I got into high school I was 5'8" and 180 LBS. I was a lean, mean, basketball body machine.

I will finish my story in the next entry.

Thanks for reading.